Updated: May 20, 2019
Do you remember a time, when you were a child, where everything was new and life was only about playing?
A time where your soul wanted nothing more than to have everyone else share in the thrill of running, jumping, singing and making noise?
Sadly if you don’t remember, you’re not alone.
This carefree time often does not last very long since most of us learn very quickly that adults do not often find these exciting expressions to be as particularly joyous and uplifting us children. Very early in life, little children learn that the world does not work the way their souls know that it should. They learn that life is not about expressing your passion through movement, vocalization and exuberance, life is about behaving, being quiet and doing what makes adults happy.
Typically, what happens is that a young child is trying to show his or her love and appreciation to his or her parents through noise, excitement, movement and exhilaration. The parents, being tired, stressed, insensitive, impatient, embarrassed, irritable or grouchy, yell or scold their child to shut or cut them down. The child, vivacious and innocent, is hurt and traumatized by the fact that the people who love him or her the most in the world could be so mean. (Stop here for a moment and feel the energy of that experience. Really feel in to what that experience would feel like)
As a result, the child restricts movement, ceases vocalization and does not behave or share his or her gift as his or her soul would like. The child has been emotionally wounded and withdraws.
In order to feel accepted, even loved, the child has to grow up and be like an adult far too soon. But a part remains cowering and hurt somewhere inside, silenced and shackled in tension. In time, this person does physically grow up, yet part of him or her still contains this scared and hurt child wound. Wherever within ourselves we chose to shelter and protect our inner child, this part of our body now feels stuck, tight and locked; as it must be in order to suppress the movement and voice of a playful little child and keep the adults happy.
As a grown up, you may no longer think of your hurt inner child. Instead, you may notice the restriction, pain or symptoms of a stuck area in your body. Perhaps you perceive limitations or rigidity in your thoughts, mind-set and subsequent choices. There may be times where you know that you are not being true to yourself, or are behaving in ways that are not good for you. You may have, at times, felt alone and helpless. Maybe you’ve observed that such emotions and mind-sets correspond to a specific location in your body that feels inflexible, knotted or constricted. You probably sought help or treatment to relieve this stuck and restricted part of your body.
What it comes down to is that the child that had to grow up too fast is still stuck inside you, buried under all the fear, conflict and judgement that it took to tie him or her down. The physical restriction you once created in order to feel accepted and safe, now makes you feel physically stuck.
Indeed, your perspectives and behaviours today are often based on what other people once told you that you needed to do to be good, accepted and loved. The reality is that, in doing this, you have not been true to yourself.
No matter what you do, no matter what you try, it always comes back to the fact that part of you is still stuck, and nothing seems to work. You may even know that you have something to do with it, but you simply don’t know what else to do. This is how we get stuck in patterns as adults, the wounding of the inner child.
At the beginning of this Stage of consciousness we become aware of the persistently restricted part(s) of our body. We learn to recognize and acknowledge that in our body, our patterns, our outlook and our lives, we are stuck.
Through apologizing, nurturing and offering to pay more attention to the hurt inner child, we free up the stuck energy and gain the resources to begin moving forward.
The analytical adult, with this new realization of our personal involvement in the state of our lives, now reaches a pivotal point which is a critical transition point in our healing journey. At this point we have a choice to make in our healing and life. We can look for someone to blame or a way to fix or control the part of ourselves that we now know is stuck or alternatively, we can make a decision, not to try to fix it, but rather, to take action by setting a new standard for our lives.
- Dr Craig Reynolds
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